Threesomes have a logistics problem nobody warns you about, and most of it is solvable with about forty dollars of supplies and one conversation. The gear part is genuinely simple. The conversation part is where things actually go wrong.
The conversation first
Agree beforehand: what is on and off the table for each person, whether anyone is off limits with anyone, what happens if someone wants to stop, and what happens afterwards. Our negotiation guide covers the structure, and it applies here more than almost anywhere because there are three sets of expectations rather than two.
The most common failure is not jealousy during. It is one person feeling sidelined, and that is preventable by naming it in advance.
The logistics
- Barriers, and change them between partners. Non negotiable with a new partner, and the thing most likely to be forgotten in the moment. Set them out beforehand where they can be reached.
- More lube than two people need. Genuinely, and keep it accessible rather than in a drawer.
- Toys need cleaning between people or a fresh barrier each time. Our cleaning guide covers what can and cannot be sanitised.
- Hands free toys help. With three people someone always has fewer hands than they need.
- Water and towels. Longer than you think.
The picks
All Spicerack Selects, free discreet shipping.
Practical Kit
SpicerackSelects
SKYN condoms because barriers are the actual requirement here. Sliquid H2O in quantity. FemmeFunn Unda and Versa Bullet are hands free and remote controlled, which solves the too-few-hands problem. Wicked Cleene for between-partner cleaning. Perfect Fit Cruiser because a ring stays on through changes of configuration.
Afterwards
Check in with everyone, separately, the next day. This is the step people skip and it is where most of the fallout gets caught early. Our aftercare guide applies to all three people, including whoever seemed most fine at the time.
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Barriers and Essentials
