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Discreet shipping
Description
Where life abounds in all its glory, a sight to be seen,"For here in the rainforest, everything teems with life,
And the raw needs of procreation, free from all strife,
Are on full display, with the sap rising in every shoot and leaf,
And it stirs something deep within you, a sense of sweet relief.
So slowly and deliberately, you shed your garments, one by one,
Until you come across a stand of bamboo, new shoots reaching for the sun,
And as you approach, your lips start to moisten with anticipation,
And you reach out to touch the thick and swelling shafts, without hesitation.
And in that moment, a little voice within your head begins to whisper and scheme,
"Why not?" it says. "Indulge in this primal display of life's wild and shameless dream."
Introducing The Bamboo! This potted plant pal can be watered with lubricant, and thrives in dark, tight spaces. It'll never die, won't wilt, and can strive in most toy storage spaces. With a layered texture all the way down the shaft, this bamboo shoot remains perky and ready for attention at all times! The potted base is perfect for anchoring down, and he currently comes in three sizes, so adopt this flora today and experience the many joys of simulated silicone cultivation!
Measurements (Small):
Total Length: 23cm
Usable Length: 17.5cm
Diameter of shaft (smallest): 3.6cm
Diameter of shaft (largest): 4.1cm
Diameter at tip: 2.2cm
And the raw needs of procreation, free from all strife,
Are on full display, with the sap rising in every shoot and leaf,
And it stirs something deep within you, a sense of sweet relief.
So slowly and deliberately, you shed your garments, one by one,
Until you come across a stand of bamboo, new shoots reaching for the sun,
And as you approach, your lips start to moisten with anticipation,
And you reach out to touch the thick and swelling shafts, without hesitation.
And in that moment, a little voice within your head begins to whisper and scheme,
"Why not?" it says. "Indulge in this primal display of life's wild and shameless dream."
Introducing The Bamboo! This potted plant pal can be watered with lubricant, and thrives in dark, tight spaces. It'll never die, won't wilt, and can strive in most toy storage spaces. With a layered texture all the way down the shaft, this bamboo shoot remains perky and ready for attention at all times! The potted base is perfect for anchoring down, and he currently comes in three sizes, so adopt this flora today and experience the many joys of simulated silicone cultivation!
Measurements (Small):
Total Length: 23cm
Usable Length: 17.5cm
Diameter of shaft (smallest): 3.6cm
Diameter of shaft (largest): 4.1cm
Diameter at tip: 2.2cm
Return policy
Due to the nature of our products, returns cannot usually be accepted. If you have a problem that means the product is, for lack of a better term, 'non-functional', please send us a message so we can remedy the issue.
We're not assholes, don't worry - we'll do our best to make it right if there's a problem.
