Mutual masturbation is the most informative thing two people can do together and one of the least discussed. You learn exactly what your partner does when nobody is watching, which is information no amount of talking conveys accurately.
Why it is worth doing
- It is a demonstration. Pressure, speed, rhythm and location, shown rather than described. Most people are bad at describing this and good at doing it.
- No performance pressure. Nobody is responsible for anyone else’s orgasm, which for a lot of people removes the exact thing that gets in the way.
- It works when other things do not. Injury, illness, pregnancy, exhaustion, or simply not wanting penetration.
- It is genuinely hot, and being watched is a large part of why.
How to start
- Say it plainly beforehand. "I want to watch you" is a complete sentence and lands better than engineering it in the moment.
- Take turns rather than simultaneously, at least the first time. Watching properly is the point.
- Narrate if you can. "Here, like this" is worth a hundred conversations.
- Use toys openly. If a toy is what you use alone, use it. Hiding it defeats the exercise.
- Do not correct anything. This is observation, not coaching.
The picks
All Spicerack Selects, free discreet shipping.
What People Actually Use
PDX Fuck Me Silly To Go Deep Throat Cocksucker Oral Mega Stroker Beige
SpicerackSelects
View Item
$44.99
SpicerackSelects
A bullet, an air pulse toy, a stroker, a cock ring, lube and cleaner. Nothing exotic, because the point is what you already do rather than a new activity.
If it feels awkward
It usually does at first, for both people. Dimmer lights, under a blanket, or one person at a time all reduce the exposure. It gets considerably easier the second time.
Browse the toy collection, or read our couples guide.
Popular Solo Toys
FemmeFunn Versa T Bullet Vibrator & Textured Silicone Tongue-Shaped Sleeve Light Blue
SpicerackSelects
View Item
$83.99
SpicerackSelects
FemmeFunn Versa P Bullet Vibrator & Textured Silicone Sleeve Dark Purple
SpicerackSelects
View Item
$83.99
SpicerackSelects
Pocket Rocket Elite Rechargeable Bullet With Removable Sleeve Purple
SpicerackSelects
View Item
$72.99
SpicerackSelects
