Most kink lists online are either a wall of 400 unexplained words or a dare. This one is meant to be useful. Below are 43 common types of kinks, grouped by theme, each explained in a sentence or two in plain English. Read it like a menu, not a checklist you have to finish: anything here can be a yes, a no or a maybe, and all three answers are normal.
A quick definition first. A kink is any consensual sexual interest outside the conventional script, from a blindfold to a full roleplay scene. A fetish is narrower: a strong attraction to a specific material, object or body part, such as leather or feet, that can be central to arousal. Every fetish is a kink, but most kinks are not fetishes.
Our free kink test turns this list into 24 quick cards. Rate each one Into it, Curious or Hard no, and see your spot between vanilla and kinky plus your top three of 12 kink profiles. Two minutes, no sign-up, and your answers stay on your device.
How to use this kink list
Go through it once and mark each item with your gut reaction. Then go through it again and ask why. A "maybe" usually hides a condition: maybe with the right person, maybe if it starts slow, maybe if I can stop it at any time. Those conditions are the most useful thing you will learn about yourself, and they are exactly what a partner needs to hear. If you want a version built for two people, our yes no maybe list for couples turns this into a structured conversation.
Power and control
Power exchange is the backbone of BDSM: one person agrees to lead and the other agrees to follow, inside limits both set beforehand. If this section is where you lingered, read dom vs sub next.
- Dominance: taking charge of what happens, the pace and the instructions. A good dominant leads and listens at the same time.
- Submission: handing over control and following a partner’s lead. The submissive’s limits set the rules, which is why many people call it the more powerful seat.
- Switching: enjoying both roles, depending on the day, the partner or the mood. See what a switch is.
- Collaring: a collar worn as a symbol of a dynamic, a bit like a ring. A day collar looks like ordinary jewelry.
- Orgasm control and edging: one partner decides when, or whether, release happens. Our edging guide covers the technique.
- Brat and brat tamer: a playful dynamic where the submissive teases and pushes back on purpose, and the dominant enjoys "taming" them.
- Service submission: pleasure from doing things for a partner, from running a bath to following a list of tasks.
- Praise kink: arousal from being told you are good, wanted or doing well. One of the most common and least scary kinks there is.
- Degradation: the opposite flavor, where agreed words that sting are part of the thrill. It needs careful negotiation, because words land differently on different days.
Bondage and restraint
- Bondage: restricting movement with cuffs, straps, rope or tape made for skin. The appeal is the feeling of being held, or of holding someone.
- Rope bondage and shibari: decorative Japanese rope work, as much art as play. Start with our shibari for beginners guide and keep safety shears close.
- Cuffs and restraints: the easiest way in. Padded wrist and ankle cuffs with quick-release clips are forgiving for first timers.
- Spreader bars: a bar that keeps wrists or ankles apart. More about position and vulnerability than tightness.
- Gags: limiting speech, which makes a non-verbal stop signal essential. More on that in our safe words guide.
- Sensory deprivation: taking away sight or sound with a blindfold, hood or earplugs, so every other sense gets louder.
Impact play
- Spanking: one of the most common first steps into kink, given or received by hand.
- Paddling: a flat paddle spreads impact over a wider area for a "thuddy" feel.
- Flogging: many soft strands of leather or suede, swung rhythmically. Heavier falls thud, thinner falls sting.
- Crops and canes: precise, stingy tools for experienced players. Stick to well-padded areas and build up slowly.
The impact play guide covers where it is safe to strike and where it never is.
Sensation play
- Wax play: drips of warm wax from low-temperature candles made for skin, never household candles. See what wax play is.
- Temperature play: alternating warm and cold, like warm oil and an ice cube.
- Tickling and feathers: light, unpredictable touch, often combined with a blindfold.
- Pinwheels: a small spiked Wartenberg wheel rolled lightly over skin for a tingle.
- Nipple clamps: adjustable pressure that builds over time. Start loose and remove them slowly.
- Scratching and biting: marks and sensation, with an agreement about what can show the next day.
Our sensation play menu has cheap household versions of most of these.
Roleplay and fantasy
- Roleplay: acting out characters, from strangers at a bar to a full scene. Start with a simple frame, as in our roleplay guide.
- Costumes and uniforms: dressing the part, which often does half the work of the fantasy.
- Primal play: instinctive, physical play built around chasing, wrestling and growling rather than words.
- Pet play: one partner takes on the role of an animal, usually a puppy or kitten, often with a collar and a caring owner.
- Consensual non-consent (CNC): a heavily negotiated roleplay of resistance. It is for experienced partners with strong trust, explicit limits and a safeword that always works.
Show and watch
- Exhibitionism: enjoying being watched, usually by a partner, never by people who did not agree to it.
- Voyeurism: enjoying watching, again with everyone involved saying yes.
- Private photos: taking sexy pictures together, with a clear agreement about where they live and who sees them.
- Discreet remote toys: a remote vibrator worn on a date, with only the two of you in on the secret.
Fetish materials and objects
- Latex and PVC: shiny, skin-tight materials loved for the look, feel and sound. Check for a latex allergy first.
- Leather: harnesses, cuffs, collars or a whole outfit.
- Lingerie and stockings: the classic fetish wardrobe, and a confidence boost for the wearer.
- Foot fetish: attraction to feet, from massage to worship. One of the most common body-part fetishes.
Talk, taboo and the mind
- Dirty talk: saying exactly what you want, out loud. Our dirty talk guide starts at level one.
- Breeding kink: a fantasy centered on the idea of conception. See the breeding kink explainer.
- Cuckolding: arousal from a partner being with someone else, with everyone’s consent. See the cuckolding guide.
- Pegging: a role reversal using a strap-on. Our pegging guide covers the basics.
- Toys together: bringing a vibrator or another toy into partnered sex, the gentlest kink on this list for most couples.
What your list says about you
Patterns matter more than single items. If your yeses cluster around power, you may lean dominant or submissive. If they cluster around touch and texture, you are probably a sensualist or a sensation seeker. If you marked "maybe" more than anything else, you are an explorer, and that is a perfectly good identity. And if most of your answers were no, you may simply be happily vanilla, which has more going for it than its reputation suggests: read what vanilla sex really means. Our test does this pattern-spotting for you: it groups 24 cards into 12 profiles, including Rope Lover, Impact Fan, Roleplayer, Fetishist and Exhibitionist, and shows your top three.
Two rules apply to everything above. Every person involved is an adult who has said an informed, enthusiastic yes. And every scene has limits and a way to stop, agreed before anyone starts. If you are new to all of it, what BDSM actually means and BDSM for beginners are the next reads. Curious what other people say yes to? Here are the most common kinks according to research.
Shop the ideas: bondage gear, rope bondage, fetish wear and roleplay costumes.
Easy first steps into kink
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Kink list FAQ
What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?
A kink is any consensual sexual interest outside the conventional. A fetish is a strong attraction to a specific material, object or body part. Liking to be tied up is a kink; needing leather to feel aroused is closer to a fetish.
Is it normal to have kinks?
Yes. Large surveys consistently find that fantasies about power, restraint and novelty are common, not fringe. What matters is consent, not how unusual something sounds.
How do I find out what my kinks are?
Notice what you return to in fantasies, then test the mild version of it with a partner you trust. A structured quiz helps too: the Spicerack Kink Test asks about 24 activities and maps your answers to 12 profiles.
Can your kinks change over time?
They often do. Desire shifts with partners, age, confidence and mood, so a hard no today can become a maybe later, and the reverse. Retake a kink test every so often and compare.
Turn this kink list into an answer. The Spicerack Kink Test takes two minutes and shows where you sit between vanilla and kinky, plus your top three profiles with ideas to explore. Doing it as a couple? Couples mode only reveals the cards you are both into.
