Sex Toy Myths, Debunked (Nine of Them)

This category runs on folklore, most of it inherited from an era when nobody could ask anyone anything. Here are the ones that come up most, and what is actually true.

"Toys will desensitise you"

No lasting evidence supports this. Temporary numbness after an intense session is normal and resolves within hours. What people describe as desensitisation is usually habituation to one specific pattern, and it resolves by varying pressure, position and speed rather than by abstinence.

"Using toys means your partner is not enough"

A toy does a specific mechanical thing that hands and bodies do differently. It is the same category as a pillow under the hips. The evidence points the other way: couples who use toys together report higher satisfaction, not lower. Our couples guide covers introducing them without it landing as criticism.

"Expensive means safe"

Correlated, not guaranteed. A named material at forty dollars beats an unnamed material at two hundred. Our materials guide covers reading a listing properly.

"You can use any lube with any toy"

Silicone lube permanently degrades silicone toys. This is the one myth that costs money, and it is covered in our toy lube guide.

"Anal requires numbing products"

The opposite. Pain is the signal that prevents injury and numbing removes it. Botanical relaxants are the correct alternative, as our anal lube guide explains.

"Most women orgasm from penetration alone"

A large majority do not, and require direct clitoral stimulation. This single misunderstanding drives most of the orgasm gap, covered in our orgasm gap guide.

"Pumps permanently increase size"

They do not. The effect is temporary and resolves within hours. Our pump guide is direct about it, and the injuries in that category come almost entirely from people chasing a permanent result.